Oh, yes. Osculation, the scientific term for kíssing, in many ways says everything about your compatibility with your mate and the health of your relationship.
Curious to know what happens inside our brains and bodies when we do it? Wondering whether a kiss means more to you than to your guy, or whether you can make your make-out session even better? Read on.
Kissing Isn’t Just About Chemistry
While two strangers might serendipitously find themselves chemically compatible, more often the best kísses grow out of an emotional connection and ambience, Kirshenbaum says. ‘So much of a great kíss is understanding the needs and desires of another person — there’s no one-size-fits-all formula to it,’ she says. How-to guides ‘focus on where to put your hand or how to set the mood, when so much of it is intuitive that you make the person comfortable, secure and safe. It’s an ultimate expression of how you feel about them.’
Even a Light Lip-Brushing is a Huge Turn-on for Our Brains
‘It probably depends on who you ask — it’s culturally influenced,’ Kirshenbaum says. The famous Indian sëx text the Kama Sutra advises going for the lips, of course, as well as the inside of the mouth, the br**sts, the throat and most places on the face. Science also provides some clues: It turns out that a disproportionate amount of brain space is taken up with processing information from the lips compared to the rest of our bodies. ‘Just a light brush on them stimulates a very large part of the brain — an area even more expansive than would be activated by sëxual stimulation below the belt,’ Kirshenbaum writes.
It’s an Essential Ingredient for a Long-Lasting Relationship
If you’re looking for longevity with your honey, make time for kissing. Regular lip-locks signify a healthy relationship and perpetuate affection and attachment, Kirshenbaum says. Oxytocin, the same hormone that makes us bond to a new love, also helps keep us attached. ‘Once the novelty wears off and romance wanes, it’s that commitment that keeps a couple together, it keeps that loving feeling alive,’ Kirshenbaum says. ‘Kissing is such a good way of stimulating oxytocin and can really do the trick.’ Among long-term couples, kissing drops off over time, she adds, so make a point of including it your day.
How We Smell Matters
On a superficial level, our schnoz tells us whether we’re dealing with Pig Pen or Old Spice Man. But it’s also looking for clues about whether we’re kissing a potential baby-making match — in the DNA department, opposites attract and our noses seem to discern genetic compatibility from a partner’s natural scent. ‘Hygiene is important for everyone because it’s the first indicator of whether this is worth pursuing or not,’ Kirshenbaum says. ‘Beyond that, scent seems to be an unconscious way someone’s genetics and immunity are expressed.’ If you are worried that you’re missing crucial info in your man’s haze of aftershave (or that you’re covering up your own with perfume), fear not, Kirshenbaum says: ‘If you spend enough time with someone, you’ll notice their natural scent over time.’
Want to Make Your Lips More Alluring? Wear Red
There may be something to women trying to make their lips look like
Angelina Jolie’s. A woman’s lips begin to thin with age as her estrogen
levels decline, so full lips could signal fertility, Kirshenbaum writes.
But too much plump could backfire: ‘If they get too big or out of sync
with the rest of your face, there’s a chance of having the opposite
effect.’ To avoid turning off the very people you want to attract,
Kirshenbaum suggests playing up your natural assets with bright, red
lipstick — the color is consistently rated the most alluring in
research.
Kissing Can Be Addictive — at Least Initially
Ever kiss someone and can’t get enough? Chalk it up to dopamine. This
feel-good brain chemical kicks into high gear during a kiss, making us
elated and even obsessed with our partner. While that feeling is similar
to addiction, dopamine is more abundant in the early stages of a
relationship, and declines as the novelty of our partner wears off. But
because dopamine is more plentiful when we’re with a new love, it may
play a role in the addictive nature of adultery, Kirshenbaum says. ‘It
can be part of the reason why some people stray: The novelty has such a
big role in the feelings associated with [the affair],’ she says.
Kissing While (Mildly) Intoxicated Can Up the Passion
To drink or not to drink? On the one hand, drugs and alcohol
stimulate some of the same brain chemicals as a kiss, so you could
mistake your substance-induced high for passionate feelings about your
partner, Kirshenbaum says. But, that said, if you’re looking for
something casual, kissing can be better after a drink or two (and
alcohol can release your inhibitions, making a kiss more likely). ‘It
can wind up feeling better or worse — it depends on how drugs affect
your sense of reality,’ Kirshenbaum says. ‘Kissing acts as a drug on top
of everything else, so when there’s a lot riding on it, go with most
accurate impression of what you feel,’ which is probably more obvious
when you’re sober.
Kíssing Can Actually Help You Make Up
Forget chocolate and flowers — just plant one on her lips. Though a
woman may profess to be unmoved by a kíss from the man she’s fighting
with, research has found that a smooch (or a few) paves the path to
forgiveness, Kirshenbaum writes. The effect may come from the oxytocin
that’s released during kissing. Kíssing may reduce levels of cortisol —
the stress hormone — coursing through our bodies during a fight.
‘Reducing stress is a pretty good way to amend a fractured
relationship,’ Kirshenbaum says.
Kíssing Never Gets Old — Even When We Do
While there hasn’t been much study of kíssing and longevity, there’s
reason to think that kíssing is vital — and enjoyable — throughout our
lives, Kirshenbaum says. ‘kíssing is so important to long-term bonds,’
she says. ‘It helps to maintain a relationship.’ So she suspects kíssing
plays an important role from birth to death.