Tuesday, 15 October 2013

For Ladies: 10 Ways To Keep Him From Cheating

1. Be willing to initiate s*x. Men equate s*x with desirability. Help your man to feel desired by expressing your love in a physical way.

2. Be open to experimentation. It can be easy to get comfortable and fear of the unknown can stop you from being open to different sexual experiences. Allow your man to try new things with you. If you won’t, there will be someone else who will. I’m not saying to engage in sexual activity you find repulsive but allow yourself to experience new things with the man you love.

3. Don’t over-accomodate. Sometimes in a relationship, a woman can become too accommodating. Men get into relationships with a very clear picture of what a lifetime partner looks like and this is often in stark contrast to whom he may have dated casually. Women work to become the person their partner wants them to be and in doing so, they lose themselves. One day, their man realizes this is what he asked for but he isn’t sure it’s what he really wants. Maintain a healthy sense of self in your relationship.

4. Don’t become too controlling. Often without realizing it, when we get into relationships we attempt to control the other person to do what works best for us. We engage in destructive relationship habits such as complaining, blaming, criticizing, nagging, threatening, punishing and bribing or rewarding to control. [Go to The Relationship Center, sign up for my mailing list and get a free report about these destructive relationship habits and what to do to engage in healthy relationship habits.]

5. Make sure he knows how much you appreciate him. Sometimes when women “get” the guy and get married, they begin to get a false sense of security. Remember, all relationships are voluntary. A person can leave at any time. With an over 50% divorce rate in this country, we need to remember how important it is to maintain a positive relationship, not simply to acquire one.

6. Let him have time to himself. Some men cheat because they begin to feel hemmed in by the relationship. Engaging in an affair can provide them the sense of freedom they lose in a relationship. Allow your man time for himself without you. Don’t try to monopolize all your guy’s time. Be open to time apart for him to spend with friends, pursue hobbies, etc. so he does not feel he has no freedom.

7. Be aware of your emotions. Whether or not we are aware of it, women are masters at using their emotions to communicate volumes without speaking any words. We communicate anger, rage, sadness and disappointment that is received by our partners.
Instead of taking that as a cue to do something different, some men begin to look for another partner who idolizes them the way you used to. Don’t forget, your man wants to know he lights you up not that he is constantly disappointing you.

8. Prioritize your relationship. Often, when a man cheats, you will find the woman is also having an “affair” that’s not sexual. It’s more socially appropriate. This “affair” takes the form of prioritizing something, anything, over the relationship. This could be a job, children, a sick relative, a charity or anything that puts her man lower on her totem pole than the first position.

9. Learn his love language. If you are not familiar with Dr. Gary Chapman’s The Five Love Languages, please read it. It has the potential to save more marriages than marriage counseling has. Learn your man’s love language and speak it to him regularly. He will know he is loved and remain true to you.

10. Find his relationship pattern. I do not know how to combat the biology argument. Some men simply believe it is hard wired into their genes to have sexual relations with as many women as they can. If this is your man, it probably won’t matter what you do. Try to recognize these men early on by asking about their dating history.
If this is a pattern with your man, he probably isn’t likely to change just because you love him best. Your best defense against this problem is to be discriminating at the onset.
via yourtango

 
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